Feb 2, 2017,
I had coffee with an old colleague this week. (He knows I’m posting this and was OK with it)
He wanted to chat as he was feeling down about his marriage of 23 years coming to an end.
He blew me away when he said; “She went back to school. She changed and I didn’t like it. She got excited about new job prospects, she had new friends, she lost weight and was really happy. I realized she could get by without me if she wanted to and I was completely uncomfortable with all of it.”
I was shocked as to why he was uncomfortable and asked him; why he wouldn’t want to share her journey, celebrate her achievements, her growth, her learning, her improved health and her new friendships and why he wouldn’t make the effort to get to know the beautiful person she had grown into?
He gave me a blank stare.
“I don’t know?” He said, “I guess I was happy with the way things were, I was afraid that she may have expectations that I would to grow along with her?”
“So why would that be a bad thing?” I asked, “If we are in the right relationship, we should learn and grow and become the best version of ourself. You can not expect a person to come down to your expectations of them, you need to “growup” to their expectation and belief in themselves .”
He gave me another blank stare.
“My god I’m such an asshole,” he replied.
“Well my friend, knowing that, might be the first step in your recovery.”
We are all on our own journey. If you find someone to share your path, someone that supports you in becoming the best version of yourself, hang on to them, its rare. We are suppose to grow, change and evolve. If you are with someone that is trying to improve their life, support them, join them in the journey. ~ This coming from a single, 57 year old dog lady ~ 🙂
TO’K – The Whimsey Angel