Growing on 60

“Growing” on 60

As I approach the sweet, sage, spectacular age of 60 next month, I feel I’m hitting my spiritual, physical and mental stride and life is good. The journey ahead will be oh so sweet as I call on the lessons and wisdom from the past six decades to guide me.

The older I get the more comfortably I melt into living my authentic life. A life that is calm, brings me joy and settles my soul. A life where I find joy and inspiration in the smallest, oddest and most beautiful of places and people.

I am definitely not the woman I was at 30, 40 or 50. I’ve grown into someone better.

I’m grateful that I’ve landed at this place and no longer feel that I have to be more of anything or less of anything, all I have to do is show up to life and be me.

To the woman, especially the young woman, in my life, growing well is a gift you give yourself. A gift you should look forward to. Being female is not about duck lips, thick eye brows and push up bras. Being a strong woman is about being confident, truthful, having integrity, lifting other women up not tearing them down, maintaining a youthful heart and a healthy mind, body and spirit. It’s also about letting go of pain, people, beliefs and attitudes that no longer serve you.

We can all “grow well”, despite our pain, our losses, our life circumstances and our age. The key is literally “all in your head.” Our attitudes about our physical and mental state dictate what our lives look like now and in the future. It doesn’t matter what yesterday looked liked, tomorrow can be different.

Me, I will continue to grow well. I will wander, I will ponder and I will dance under the stars (or in my kitchen) either alone or with those that dance to the same beat. I will keep furry friends by my side as they are the best therapy. If and when I feel lost, I will wander away from the flock towards the quiet of the rain forest or meander along the ocean shore lines that kiss the edge of our wild, windy, wet, west coast. Nature is my temple.

Some of you will continue to travel this journey with me, and I look forward to whatever mischief we get into along the way. To others, I will say thank you and goodbye, you’ve been a beautiful teacher.

Here’s hoping we all grow well.

60, I embrace you, let’s do it, let’s do all of it!

Crap I think I just put my back out typing that last exclamation mark 😁.

Grow well my friends, GROW well.

Love Toni

Theres still so much ahead

We’re supposed to out grow certain things, certain people, certain behaviours and move on.

If growth wasn’t part of the plan we’d still be living in caves.

We’re meant to be curious, to explore and grow.

So leave your storms behind, you’ve already weathered them, stop reliving them day-after-day.

Unpack what’s holding you back, give thanks that it (or they) got you this far, leave it behind and move on.

Theres still so much ahead

to do,

to be,

to love.

Are you enough?

We often judge ourselves for not being enough. But enough “what” exactly?

I’ve had relationships end and wondered why I wasn’t good enough, smart enough, beautiful enough.

I’ve held positions where I left my blood, sweat, tears, time, heart and soul on the floor and still I felt it wasn’t enough.

As a young mom I did everything I thought I could for my children and still I felt I was not enough, not there enough, not supportive enough, did not give enough.

Here’s what I know now. I was enough.

I have always been enough, of me.

You have always been enough, of you.

No-one can make us me feel less than we are, we do that to ourselves.

My broken relationships had nothing to do with either of us not being enough. These relationships ended because we were not compatible and had different expectations.

I have enjoyed a wonderful career and I obviously was enough to have been given the opportunities I had and still have.

My children never asked me to be more, I just thought I should have been, I was wrong. All they wanted from me, was me.

Recognizing that you are enough should not stop you from challenging yourself to be more, in fact it should excite and inspire you to be the best version of yourself. Once we let go of the idea that we are here to please and be accepted by others we set ourselves free to be “ourselves”.

If someone hurts you, leaves you, judges you, does not agree with you, it’s okay, that’s about them, not you. Not everyone will love or even like you, they don’t have to and you don’t have to care.

We’re not built to be compatible with everyone. How boring would that be?

Stop worrying about whether you’re enough. You were born with enough of everything you need to grow into you.

Your expectations of yourself are the only expectations that matter. And that my dear, makes you perfectly enough of you.❤️

OK, enough of that 😉.

Toni O’K~🌹❤️

The sudden loss

“The sudden loss

of someone you love,

leaves a longing

that stabs your heart

and shatters your soul,

leaving an emptiness

where the presence of

their love once lived.

It is this great loss

and a need to fill

the emptiness, that

becomes the loudest

and most profound

calling to live.”

YOUR PERSPECTIVE is YOUR Super Power,

YOUR PERSPECTIVE is

YOUR Super Power,

When an obstacle blocks your path,

you can CHOOSE to view it as a disaster, an inconvenience, Or, an opportunity to pause, catch your breathe, clear your mind, reflect and grow.

Then, when you’re ready, choose a new path AND move on.

Every loss, every ending, every failure, every spiral to the bottom and all things that cause us pain, provide the opportunity to change perspective.

Once you chart your new path, leave behind whatever, whoever was blocking you or causing you pain.

Take a gratitude moment and give thanks that you survived “it” and are wiser because of it.

What’s blocking you? Is it really a disaster? or is it creating an opportunity to move on healthier, happier, lighter, wiser and with a new perspective.

Toni O’K~ 🌹❤️

Life, a delicate high-wire dance.

Life is a delicate high-wire dance between chances not taken and bold quests to risk it all.

We move between treading lightly through life and jumping ”all in” at warp speed.

Then, something happens, a loss, an illness, a disaster and everything, absolutely everything changes. We are shaken to our core. Everyone means so much more than they did before that “something” rattled us.

We assess our purpose, our value and wonder why any of this matters at all.

But it does matter and it shouldn’t take “something” to remind us to live fully every day.

Our time on this earthly journey is limited. Those that leave before us are a reminder that we are not permanent fixtures in any of this. It’s that impermanence that makes life a gift.

So don’t tippy-toe through life, afraid to fall, be bruised or hurt. You’re here to feel and to BE human. So, feel it all and BE the things you’ve dreamt of BEing Take each step believing that there is a net to catch you when you fall.

None of us are getting out of “this” alive.

Don’t die with your love, your words, your music, your art or your passion locked inside you. Leave it all out there, where it can be seen, be heard, be touched and be loved.

Toni O’K~🌹❤️

The amazing miracle you are

A billion beautiful things had to line up so you could be here living this life.

~ A Big Bang,

~ Trillions of colourful particles of star dust that found their way across the galaxy,

~ Generations of interesting and creative souls, all making decisions and taking tiny steps that led to the creation of you.

You are a big deal! A really big deal!

Don’t ever question the amazing miracle you are!

Toni O’K~🌹❤️

You are the Universe

Sometimes the universe appears to be silent.

Our prays and cry’s for help are not answered.

We see chaos unfold around us and wonder why any of this matters or exists at all?

Our world leaders flounder leaving us feeling adrift in a vast wasteland of lies and corruption.

It’s in moments like this that you get yourself;

a bag of Oreos, bar-b-q ripple chips, a couple tubes of all-spice Pringle’s, gummy bears, a jar of spicy olives, a few kit-kats, wine, a puppy and a line up of Hallmark movies.

Then you place your crown upon your head and you take that rainy day and turn it into your own damn picnic!

( I’ll also take a side of fries with that).

Darling, You are the Universe! You can turn any storm into a sunny day! Oh yes you can!

Toni O’K~🌹❤️

Wisdom

Wisdom is all around us waiting to be invited in and be understood.

It lives in the actions of others and the emotions we feel when we witness acts of kindness and compassion or acts of destruction and hate.

Wisdom arrives in the repetition of events and circumstances that continue to enter our lives until we “get” what the universe is trying to teach us.

Wisdom stands beside us trying to teach us to be humble when our egos are too hard at work.

Sometimes, wisdom just shows up. You feel it in your gut, you hear it tapping on the window of your soul trying to get your attention. Listen.

It often shows up during our greatest life storms or, when we’re completely still.

It’s there in everyone we know and in everything we do. We don’t always see or understand the gift of the lessons it brings, so sometimes it’s cousin Karma has to step in to drive the learning home.

Wisdom does not come from books or a classroom, it comes from our experiences, our relationships and our daily interactions. It’s there waiting for us to invite it in.

The world needs wise souls to put humanity and our planet back together.

Invite wisdom in and share it!

Toni O’K ~🌹❤️