Fill up on the good stuff

~ Toni O’KEEFFE

When we choose anything; a partner, a movie, produce, a bottle of wine, a job, friends, we try to get the good ones, the ones that are good for us, lift us up and make us feel good.

When you choose your thoughts, you should also choose the good ones, the ones that lift you up and make you feel good.

You know the saying “you are what you eat”? Well, you’re also what you thinking.
If you think you’re unhappy you’re right,
If you think life sucks, you’re right.
If you think you’re beautiful you’re right.
If you think you’re capable you’re right.
If you think a rainy day is fabulous you’re right.
If you think a rainy day is dismal you’re right.
We become what we believe and what we fill up on.
Fill your life with good people, good thoughts and good stuff.

Love Toni 🌹❤️

Healing

~Toni O’KEEFFE

Today feels like a good day to start healing from whatevers hurting or haunting you.

It doesn’t matter how you got here.
It matters how you muster the courage to move beyond it.

Healing can start by forgiving who or what hurt you, including forgiving yourself for the role you played or decisions you made that led to your emotional or physical pain.

Forgiveness does not mean you condone or forget what happened. Forgiveness is the act of reclaiming control over your mental and physical well being so you can live your best life.

When we forgive, we put the weight of our pain down and remove the power it has over us. Forgiveness allows peace to fill in the spaces where sorrow, guilt, regret, anger, grief or other pain once lived and, we begin to heal. You may not be able to get over your pain, but you can get through it.

Forgive the ones who hurt you, left you in a state of fear, or left you feeling less than you are. Forgive the disease, discomfort or physical pain hurting your body and ask it to move on. It doesn’t matter why or how this pain found you, it matters that you move on in spite of it.

Even if you have to live with your pain, as many of us do, you can still ease the hurt and take away the power it has over your life.

It’s on the path through our pain where some of our greatest learning and growth takes place.

You deserve, happiness, peace of mind, love and freedom from everything thats ever hurt you.

If you need help getting started; write down the things you want to heal from and who you need to forgive. Then, find your place of peace. This place might be a forest, the ocean, a wide open field, a mountain top, a lakeside, a garden, your backyard or a room with a view.
In this safe space set your words free in whatever way feels right for you. Burn, bury, scream, shred or flush, the choice is yours,

When you leave, this place, leave what and who hurt you behind. If you feel your pain creeping back in. Go back to this place and reclaim your peace of mind.

Whether your pain is anchored in grief, regret, remorse, abuse, addiction, heartbreak, an accident, disease or other physical or emotional suffering; today’s a good day to start healing.

Your pain can leave you paralyzed or, it can be the wind that allows to you set sail.

Toni O’KEEFFE ~🌹❤️

Healing spaces

~ Toni O’KEEFFE

We all need quiet, healing spaces where we can be still, clear our minds and listen to whatever the universe wants us to hear.

Places to unpack our emotions and sort through our thoughts without the noise and buzz that constantly calls to us from our chaotic human world.

Places we can pause, hit reset, then walk away with settled hearts, peaceful minds and contented souls.

You deserve to find a place of peace which does exactly that, and I hope you do❤️.
Love Toni 🌹❤️

This storm will pass

Not all of life’s storms are destructive.
Some come to shake us up, so we can put things back together, not the way they were, but, the way they’re meant to be.

Good things grow from the messiest parts of our lives. Every challenge, loss and disappointment brings new opportunities.

There really is calm and light after every storm. Yup, after, every, single, one.
🌈 ☀️❤️☀️🌈

Toni O’KEEFFE ~🌹❤️

Life is messy and messy ain’t bad

The journey to figure out who we’re meant to be, is messy.
So are;
~ the colourful drippings from an artists brush, until a masterpiece is born.
~ run-on sentences and misspelt words, until a best selling novel emerges.
~ stacks of bricks and mortar, until they’re assembled to build a home.
~ musical notes that don’t make sense until a musician strings them together to create a melody.
~ a seedling stuck in the dirt, until it grows into a rose.

Everything is messy, until it becomes what its meant to be. Including all of us.

We don’t stop painting, writing, building, playing, fixing, or planting because it’s messy, we keep going until we recognize what we’ve created.

Each of us is a messy collection of experiences, emotions, missteps, wrong turns, hopes, dreams, heartbreaks and hooray’s tossed together to create a life.

And, although we don’t always understand why certain things happen, where we’re heading, or why certain people come in and out of our lives, our individual paths are constantly moving us towards who we’re meant to be.

What starts out messy, usually ends up being something beautiful. So hang in there, things are going to get messy, and messy ain’t bad.

Toni O’KEEFFE ~🌹❤️

There’s power in your pain

Beautiful friend, stop worrying.
Trust that what you’re going through, will lead to something greater.

Our pain does not define us, it helps us grow. Don’t let the heartache, physical pain, disappointment, sorrow or grief, you might be feeling today, be your story. It’s only one page of a larger, more exciting adventure.

Scars are meant to leave us stronger.
They are the badges we wear reminding us to keep moving forward, taking the lessons from our pain with us.

What hurt you yesterday, has already begun to heal today.

Toni O’KEEFFE ~🌹❤️

Soft Hearts

Don’t mock
or walk upon
the hearts
of those
who are
soft, gentle,
kind and
attuned to
the changing
ethos of humanity.
Be grateful
they walk
amongst us.
They are
the ones
who care
for those who
can not care
for themselves.
They see
where our world
is broken and
run to repair
the fabric of a
brittle planet
and it’s
fragile people.
These gentle hearts,
quietly and,
without expectation,
shelter us and
keep us safe.
Some see their
compassion
and empathy
and see
weakness.
But my darlings,
these are
the ones
who have the
greatest strength.
They carry
the weight of
our collective
rigidity, and
the pieces
of our
shattered world
upon their shoulders,
so others,
don’t have to.
They clear the path,
then help us walk it.

Toni O’KEEFFE ~🌹❤️

Overcome your loneliness by being alone.

By Toni O’KEEFFE

April, 2022

As a child, I grew up in a loud, hectic, sometimes frenzied Irish Catholic home, buzzing with family gatherings, birthday parties, activities related to my moms real estate business, the daily preparations required for my Dad’s restaurant, the screech of musical instruments being practiced, seven children running-playing-fighting, mom hollering out orders, lots of pets (including my sister Suzie’s pet rooster) cousins, aunts, uncles and friends constantly coming and going.

It was loud and it was busy.

Up until a few years ago, my adult life had also been a constant buzz of career busyness, multiple moves, volunteer work, my boys, their antics and extracurricular activities, house guests, exchange students, lots of pets and a busy social life.

For decades I craved alone time, it never arrived. Then, one day it did.

There I sat on the floor in my kitchen, living alone for the first time in over 40 years. And, I’d never felt so lost, so alone or so sad.

My children were grown, my eldest son had passed away, my marriage had ended, I was retired and had stepped away from community service to manage health issues.

Over the course of my life I had drawn my identity from the many hats, roles and responsibilities I had worn, and the busyness that kept my mind and life occupied.

After decades of being somebody’s sister, daughter, mother, wife, boss, employee, volunteer, now I was, well, I had no idea.

I was exhausted, probably depressed and didn’t feel emotionally able to reach out or connect with anyone, in fact, I didn’t want too.

My little spirit was spent, she needed to rest. She knew we had to turn inward, to feel the deepest sense of loneliness and loss before we could reimagine what our life should be. So, I surrendered. I listened, and let her guide me.

I cocooned myself for several month, slowing growing new wings and transforming the life I had lived over several decades, into something new, different and purposeful.

It was during my alone time that I learnt how to quiet the busyness in my mind and listen to the thoughts percolating in the deepest corners of my soul.

I was able to focus on my health, read a few books, took a lot of walks and did some amazing solo travel. I tapped into creative pursuits that had always been there, but hadn’t been exercised in along while.

Then, I began to remember who I was, I mean, who I really was. To my surprise I realized that I’m more of an introvert than I imagined. I came to recognize and appreciate some of the creative traits and habits I had inherited from my father. I understood what it must have been like for my mother when her career came to an end, her children had left the nest, her husband had passed away and she had to create new purpose and joy in her life. I developed a deeper sense of empathy and gratitude for both my parents.

Being alone taught me that my happiness and my joy is my job. We can not expect our partners or our children or anyone to be responsible for, or be, our only source of happiness. We must cultivate our own interests, hobbies and joy.

Being alone has power. Once we learn how to be alone and be happy, we can better recognize if our life choices are drawn from a place of happiness or loneliness.

My alone time is now something I look forward to. It’s during my alone time that I get to visit the best parts of myself and I remember what it is I’m here to do.

It is in this quiet space that I continue to lay down the stepping stones towards my own growth.

I’ve evolved my perception of loneliness over the past few years into an understanding that ~ Loneliness does not come from not having others around us, it comes from not knowing our purpose, our passions and ourselves.

Alone time, when we use it well, allows us time to think, to recharge, to be creative, to foster self reliance and helps us unearth our authentic selves. It also allows us to re-examine who we want in our lives and the types of relationships we want to cultivate.

I love the quote;

“Not all those who wander are lost”

~ from J.R.R. Tolkien’s poem “The Riddle of Strider”, this quote echoes my own belief that ~ When we wander alone ~ we find ourselves.

When embraced, being alone can be peaceful, healing and healthy. It’s an opportunity to find ourselves without the commentary and expectations of anyone else and, just BE.

Toni O’KEEFFE ~❤️🌹

**artwork ~ The Secret Window by Shawna Erback

Stop worrying so much about do little ~

Beautiful friend.
Stop worrying so much about so little.

Don’t worry about the ones that left you behind, be grateful for the ones who are still by your side.

Don’t worry about promises not kept or plans that didn’t work out. They weren’t supposed to, they weren’t meant for you.

Don’t worry about the past or be angry, jealous or spiteful about days gone by. Be grateful for the lessons and move on.

What hurt you yesterday, has already begun to heal today. If yesterday didn’t go exactly as you hoped, today the slate is clean, you get to start over.

We’re all magical, messy, mixed up little souls painting lives that are constantly works in progress. So, my beautiful friend, stop being so hard on yourself and stop worrying so much, about so little.

Be gentle with yourself today and every day.
Just relax you messy little soul, just relax.
TO’K~ 🌹❤️

Pain can be a beautiful teacher~

We learn more during life’s painful moments and challenges, than we learn in our moments of glory.

Each stabbing ache, each crushing disappointment, each heartbreak, every loss or painful fall from grace, allows us an opportunity to grow and become stronger.

Whether it’s emotional or physical; pain forces us to slow down, rest and take the time we need to heal.

Getting knocked down isn’t always a bad thing. Pain can leave us humbled, wiser and more patient. It allows us to lower our veil, be vulnerable, more tolerant and compassionate towards the pain we see or even cause, in others.

Sometimes pain itself is the cure for the things in life that hurt us; as it slows us down long enough to evaluate what and who is important.

When pain knocks on your door, let it in, sit with it. Let it show you what it wants you to see, to learn or to grow into.

Pain always, ALWAYS, brings with it opportunities for transformation. Opportunities to wrap yourself in your cocoon, and when you’re ready, to emerge with greater clarity about who you are, what’s important, why you’re here and how you want to live, love, play and BE.

Pain can be a beautiful teacher. Don’t waste your pain on “the pain” use this opportunity as a stepping stone to chart the next chapter of your journey.

Your pain will hurt you, it will also help, heal and lead you.

TO’K ~ 🌹❤️