Tag: kindness

The perfect partner does not exist, they become ~

by The Whimsey Angel, posted in happiness, Life Journey, love, Love and relationships, relationship, relationships, Self Love, Toni O’Keeffe

Millions of single people (and people in unhappy relationships) are consumed with finding the perfect partner.

They scour dating sites and social media profiles, look across crowded rooms, join singles clubs or go to bars looking for “the one”.

In reality, I don’t believe this perfect partner exists. They “become”.

When two perfectly flawed, quirky people come together, they can BECOME perfect for each other if they accept each other as they are, trusting that together they can grow into better versions of themselves.

Human beings have a tendency to be judgmental and look at the messy flaws in each other before we look at the endearing and beautiful qualities we all possess. If you do this (assess the flaws) you’ll never find “the one” because we’re all messy little humans filled with flaws and cracks.

When we plant a seed or a bulb in the ground, it’s messy, it doesn’t grow over night. When planted in the right conditions and when it’s taken care of, the seed grows into exactly what it’s supposed to be. Relationships are the same, they don’t just happen. When planted in the right conditions and with the right care, they can flourish and grow.

*The right conditions implies there are no abuse, infidelity, addiction, moral differences or other serious issues that have to be addressed.

Everything ever created (even YOU) was messy in the beginning. An oak tree, a symphony, a work-of-art, a relationship, all require time to germinate and grow before they BECOME the masterpiece they’re destined to be.

So try looking for the one who is not perfect, but is authentic and possesses qualities such as kindness, respect, a sense of humour, someone who’s supportive, caring, playful and shares similar values.

Then cheer each other on, comfort each other when things don’t go according to plan. When you disagree don’t argue, communicate.

There is some irony in me writing this piece, as I’ve had, hmm a few relationships. They all provided me with insights about myself and human relationships. In particular;

  • When was kind, loving, supportive and understanding with my partners, we both grew into better versions of ourselves.
  • When I expected a partner to change a behaviour or change things about themselves (or they had these expectations of me) the relationship went sideways quickly.
  • When one partner tries to stop the other from growing, the relationship also sours quickly.
  • Relationships work when both partners commit to growing together and, support one another in growing as individuals.

She may not have the perfect body, he may not be perfectly groomed, you may not see eye-to-eye on a-lot of things and, you probably both have flaws, annoying little habits and imperfections. Don’t let that stop you. If the core building blocks of kindness, respect, honesty and trust are there, and you’re both committed to becoming better versions of yourself, together you can BECOME a masterpiece.

Treat your partner like the partner of your dreams, and, they just might BECOME exactly that.

Toni O’Keeffe~🌹❤️

Look for the helpers~

by The Whimsey Angel, posted in life, life challenges, Life Journey, Personal Growth, Toni O’Keeffe

Mr Rogers said; “look for the helpers”.
This is wise advise for both children and adults.

When you’re struggling, be aware of who comes into your life unexpectedly. These helpers may be different than the people you generally welcome into your tribe, all the more reason to welcome them in.

If you’re in pain, lost, drowning in your own messy life circumstances, grief or chaos, you might not recognize these helpers when they show up, you might even push them away.

Put your ego, pride, judgment and stubbornness aside and accept that they are here to help and guide you through the storms in your life. If you don’t have the strength to reach out, accept the help when others reach in.

No matter how strong, brave, smart or tough we think we are, none of us can do this alone. We all need a village.

There are people you haven’t met yet, (and some you have) who will bring peace, comfort, laughter, wisdom, light, healing and help into your life.
Let them.

Toni O’KEEFFE ~🌹❤️

“Helping Hand” painting By Emile Renouf

Touch the ocean

by The Whimsey Angel, posted in Life Journey

I wander back to places I’ve been,

people I’ve met,

wonder why they’re part of

this one life I get.

It goes by fast,

this adventure is swift,

Every breath, every step,

every scene is a gift

Your days will end,

It’s not a race.

Slow down, breath,

Laugh, love and embrace.

I understanding,

why we’re here,

But, the lessons that come

are not always clear.

Candles of hope,

lit day-after-day,

the choices we make,

lighting our way.

Vistas to feast on,

new lives to hold,

Stories are written,

then rewritten and retold.

Keep your heart open,

your mind curious,

enjoy the dance,

don’t be so serious.

Kindness is key

Don’t hold a grudge,

What your neighbours doing,

is not yours to judge.

This path seems long

when we first arrive,

It’s not long at all,

I now realize.

Release the things

that tie you down

They won’t matter,

when you’re no longer around

So touch the ocean,

Kiss the sky,

Embrace this life

Before you die.

Toni O’Keeffe~🌹❤️

Your words have weight. Exercise them carefully.~

by The Whimsey Angel, posted in be you, compassion, growth, healing, kindness, life challenges, Life Journey, personal growth,, Reflection, Uncategorized, words

I dislike and rarely use, the term “The truth hurts.” because, it doesn’t always have to.

Even when we convey disappointing or unpleasant information, we can still use words to reassure, comfort, support, show empathy, motivate, inspire, educate or encourage optimism.

In a world where it’s easy to use multiple mediums to fire off messages filled with emotional backlash and sometimes dire consequences, we need to choose our words carefully.

It’s not always “the truth” that hurts, it can be the mis-truths, the half truth, the lies, the mean spirited intent behind the words or how a message is delivered, that hurts.

Your words can break a spirit or save it, bring light to someones day or shroud it in darkness, can lift someone up or tear them down, can soften a heart or make it cold, deliver tears of joy or tears of sorrow, can influence opinion and evoke emotion.

Our words are little bullets. On average, most of us fire off approximately 7000 of them every single day. (OK some of us may use a few more than that😊)

When eloquently strung together those 26 little letters (if you speak English) can make up words that move us to create, laugh, cry and touch one another in the most profound ways.

Before you speak or send a message ask yourself; have I been kind? have I been sensitive? is the information true? is the information even necessary?

Then ask yourself “Will my words cause pain or discomfort?” If they will, ask yourself how you can be supportive, inspire or encourage optimism, healing and growth?

It’s equally important to be cautious with your silence. Our words when left unspoken, can be just as powerful. The things we do not say or do not ask or do not explore, can send messages indicating we do not care, we’re not interested or we’ve given up. Words left unspoken sometimes create a void others fill with assumptions. Most often, incorrect assumptions.

Other times your silence is exactly what the situation calls for. It says I’m not going to engage in what might be an emotionally charged setting. So rather than using your words, it might be best to listen compassionately to the words of others.

Your words both spoken and unspoken belong to you. Before you fire them off or keep them locked in your holster, consider the impact and the consequences of each powerful bullet.

No work-out routine, diet program, steroid, or sizeable muscle mass will give you more power than the weight your words.
Exercise them carefully.

Toni O’Keeffe~🌹❤️