My wish for each of you is LOVE. Real LOVE. A Love that is kind, respectful, comforting, brings you joy and extends beyond a single day, a box of chocolates and some roses each year.
I wish you a LOVE that allows you to feel safe and secure in who you are and inspires you to grow into the best version of yourself. A LOVE built on soul-to-soul connections, with no expectations, only an enduring appreciation, acceptance, respect and admiration for the beautiful, perfect and unique soul YOU are.
But more than that, I wish YOU a LOVE of self, where YOU see yourself as worthy and deserving of all that is beautiful and good. A self-LOVE that allows YOU to be kind and gentle with your heart as you surrender to and inhale, this epic journey called life. A self-LOVE that offers you the absolute knowing you are a beautiful work in progress, a perfect heart under construction and an amazing, magical, being destine to do great things, even if they’re small things. And with this perfect LOVE flowing around you, I hope you reach into the world, sharing all that you know and make the world a better, softer, gentler and more loving place to be.
Yes, that’s the kind of LOVE I wish for you – not just on Valentines day, but every-single-day.
Millions of single people (and people in unhappy relationships) are consumed with finding the perfect partner.
They scour dating sites and social media profiles, look across crowded rooms, join singles clubs or go to bars looking for “the one”.
In reality, I don’t believe this perfect partner exists. They “become”.
When two perfectly flawed, quirky people come together, they can BECOME perfect for each other if they accept each other as they are, trusting that together they can grow into better versions of themselves.
Human beings have a tendency to be judgmental and look at the messy flaws in each other before we look at the endearing and beautiful qualities we all possess. If you do this (assess the flaws) you’ll never find “the one” because we’re all messy little humans filled with flaws and cracks.
When we plant a seed or a bulb in the ground, it’s messy, it doesn’t grow over night. When planted in the right conditions and when it’s taken care of, the seed grows into exactly what it’s supposed to be. Relationships are the same, they don’t just happen. When planted in the right conditions and with the right care, they can flourish and grow.
*The right conditions implies there are no abuse, infidelity, addiction, moral differences or other serious issues that have to be addressed.
Everything ever created (even YOU) was messy in the beginning. An oak tree, a symphony, a work-of-art, a relationship, all require time to germinate and grow before they BECOME the masterpiece they’re destined to be.
So try looking for the one who is not perfect, but is authentic and possesses qualities such as kindness, respect, a sense of humour, someone who’s supportive, caring, playful and shares similar values.
Then cheer each other on, comfort each other when things don’t go according to plan. When you disagree don’t argue, communicate.
There is some irony in me writing this piece, as I’ve had, hmm a few relationships. They all provided me with insights about myself and human relationships. In particular;
When was kind, loving, supportive and understanding with my partners, we both grew into better versions of ourselves.
When I expected a partner to change a behaviour or change things about themselves (or they had these expectations of me) the relationship went sideways quickly.
When one partner tries to stop the other from growing, the relationship also sours quickly.
Relationships work when both partners commit to growing together and, support one another in growing as individuals.
She may not have the perfect body, he may not be perfectly groomed, you may not see eye-to-eye on a-lot of things and, you probably both have flaws, annoying little habits and imperfections. Don’t let that stop you. If the core building blocks of kindness, respect, honesty and trust are there, and you’re both committed to becoming better versions of yourself, together you can BECOME a masterpiece.
Treat your partner like the partner of your dreams, and, they just might BECOME exactly that.
I use the “L” word a lot. I tell my family, friends, even my dog, “I LOVE them.”
I love my home, my community, my morning coffee, cinnamon buns, Prosecco, chocolate, harp music, a good “who-done-it”, walks in the forest, starry nights, the sound of the ocean, crazy wild storms, songs that make me cry and spontaneous adventures ( lol- sounds like an online dating profile😁). My point is, each of us use this one small word; “LOVE”, to define the emotion, passion and affection we have for so many things.
So why then are so many afraid to say it? Maybe it’s because we’ve made saying “I LOVE you” weird. Our socialized definition of the word is based on romantic love, when actually, LOVE goes further and so much deeper than that.
If you’re a part of my tribe and I tell you “I LOVE you.” it means; I’m grateful for the bond and history we share, the memories we’ve made and the time we’ve spent together. I appreciate the energy and wisdom you bring into my life. I’m drawn to your creativity, your soulfulness, your wit, the way you lift me up and make me feel. When I say “I LOVE you” I’m saying I’m glad you were born and I’m happy you’re a part of my life.
Now, what’s so scary about that?
Just saying the words “I LOVE you” is uplifting to the one speaking them. Being told we’re loved is not just nice, it’s necessary. We all need to know we matter.
LOVE has the power to inspire, comfort, heal, and pull us up from the darkest of places. There are more songs, books, movies and poetry written about LOVE then any other topic. We have special days to celebrate love, we’re consumed with finding love, and without love our species would, well, die off.
In a world that always seems to be in peril, sharing our love for one another is the glue that will strengthen our bonds and allow us to better navigate the challenges, conflicts and disagreements life throws at us.
So let’s stop making it weird. Spread the “L”word. I promise the more you give, the more you’ll get.
I recently had a conversation with a friend that went something like this;
Friend; “Do you ever worry that the woo-woo stuff you post might put people off?”
Me; (*laughing) “Whats woo-woo stuff ?” (I knew what she meant, but wanted to hear her say it😊)
Friend; “You know, all that hippie-dippy, peace, love and soul speak stuff you post.”
Me; “Why would I worry?”
Friend; I don’t know, some people might find it weird.
Me; “Well then they’re not my people.” —————————————————- What struck me during this conversation was how easily society has accepted what is artificial and manufactured. Yet, what’s authentic and “REAL” is often called weird, kooky or “woo-woo”.
There are a few definitions of “woo-woo”. I like to think of it as tapping into ones deepest wisdom in the expression of our authentic and creative self.
For some of us, we reach a certain age where the energy it takes to be anything but authentic is exhausting and violates who we were meant to be. And so, we set our woo-woo free. (Yes, I chuckle like a 12 year old, each time I type “woo-woo”)
The world needs your woo-woo I bet your woo-woo is beautiful!😉 Embrace “the Woo” in you 😁. If people can’t accept you and your Woo as you are, they’re not your people.
So get out there and get your beautiful, hippie, dippy, woo-woo on and have a fabulous weekend ☮️.
My whimsey heart and childlike spirit are oh so playful, inquisitive, excited about life, full of energy, hope and believe anything is possible.
But the lady that looks back at me from the mirror tells another story. She possesses the calm and wisdom of her age, a sense of gratitude for making it this far, a few regrets and a curiosity for what might come next. She knows time is passing, so she embraces the gifts that arrive with each day.
The gray in her hair, folds in her skin and lines on her face are the well-worn roadmap pointing to the places she’s been. Her scars are the badges that honour her life and the lives she has brought into the world.
There is still much she wants to do, to see, to create and love.
As she continues on her path, she will allow her inner child to remain playful, believing she can still be more than she is. Her heart will continue to love and believe in the goodness that resides in everyone. She will remain curious and her gypsy soul will continue to dance. And, her body, well, I will love her as she is.
I hope you live your days, being fully present, grateful and in a state of awe for the adventure that is your life.