I wish you Love

By Toni O’Keeffe

February 13, 2020

Valentines day brings with it warm thoughts of romantic love, candy hearts, bouquets of roses tied up with lace, softly lite restaurants filled with couples sipping champagne and nibbling chocolate dipped strawberries off the tips of each other’s fingers.

While this might describe the Hallmark ideal of a perfect valentine’s day, most of us will not experience it this way – at all.

Some will dart to the drug store on the way home from the office in hopes of finding a card with something that “adequately” describes how they feel about their beloved partner. They might also pick up a couple scratch and win tickets and a bag of liquorice(because all the chocolate is gone) to add weight to their claim that some thought went in to expressing their feelings on this, “the day of love”

Some will spend all day preparing oysters and braised Lamb Shanks from “the Seduction Cookbook”, set their table with the best china, red linen and light the cinnamon candles they got last Christmas in hopes of re-igniting a spark that will lead to a romantic tryst with the one they love.

Others, okay moi, will sit at home, curled up with our favorite pets, watching hallmark movies and eating frozen pizza or tuna out of a can. And, I’m okay with that.

Regardless of how you spend your Valentine’s Day, my wish for you is that you do reflect on love. Not just romantic love, but a love for all things and all people, a love that is kind, authentic, brings you joy and extends beyond a single day each year.

I wish you a love that allows you to feel safe and secure in who you are and inspires you to grow into the best version of yourself. A love that celebrates soul-to-soul connections with no expectations only an enduring appreciation, acceptance, respect and admiration for the beautiful, perfect and unique soul that you are.

If you have found the one that sets your heart on fire, makes butterflies dance in your chest and stars shine in your eyes, hold them close and give thanks for the gift of this love every single day.

For those still in search of an epic love, I hope you find the kindred flame, the one that will settle your soul, captivate your mind, make your body tingle and your heart sing.

Most of all, I wish you a love of self, where you see yourself as worthy and deserving of all that is beautiful and good. A love that allows you to be kind and gentle with your heart and spirit as you fully surrender to this amazing journey of life that you are on. Yes, that’s the kind of love I wish you – not just today or on Valentines day, but every day.

Alright I’ve got big decisions to make.

Tuna? Pizza? Hmm, Pizza with tuna?

Happy Valentines Day

Love

Toni ~🌹❤️

You were born with a gift.

You were born with a gift. One thing (or maybe two)meant to inspire, teach or bring joy to others. A gift that only you can share.

It might be found in the art, music, writing or things you create.

It could be in your ability to be compassionate, kind, to heal or make others smile or laugh.

Perhaps you are meant to be a life teacher, a guide, a builder, a person that serves or helps others by listening, understanding or caring.

It’s in you. Even if you have not found it yet, IT IS IN YOU.

That amazing gift that is yours alone, find it, and unleash your magic into the world. And that my beautiful soul friend, is when you will shine your brightest.

(c) February 3, 2020

Toni O’KEEFFE ~🌹❤️

Be Less

Be LESS THAN YOU CAN BE!

Most of our lives we’re told to be MORE, to want MORE to consume MORE.

Isn’t it time to be Less?

~ Less busy

~ Less stressed

~ Less critical of yourself

~ Less offended

~ Less judgemental

~ Less worried

~ Less impatient

~ Less of an impact on the environment.

~ Less violent

~ Less hurtful

~ Less deceitful

~ Less angry

~ Less prejudice

~ Less greedy

~ Less wasteful

~ Less concerned with what others think.

~ Less willing to tolerate the things and people that hurt you.

Maybe, just maybe if we were all a little less, the planet and all that dwell upon it would to heal just a little bit 🌏 😊❤️.

Toni O’K~🌹❤️

ONLINE DATING- it’s all fun and games until you actually meet – (or somebody looses an eye)

My online dating days have come to an end (well, until the next Saturday night I’m home alone with a bag of Cheetos, a bottle of wine, left over holiday chocolate and decide to sign up for the latest new and improved dating site for the over 50 crowd).

After 30 months, 52 first dates, hundreds of messages, winks, flirts, favourites, pokes, and likes, I am hanging up my online dating profile.

I did have some positive experiences along the way, but the majority of my matches were as they say; “no cigar” just a lot of smoke and no flame.

Each potential match starts off fun, maybe with an online wink, a “like”, they might designate you as a “favourite” or send you an online emoji gift, and then you start to communicate online.

In the beginning there are lots of flirty messages, texts and even phone calls. You find all sorts of commonality and talk yourself into believing that this person could actually be the “one”. You may even go out and buy a new bra in anticipation of something wonderful about to unfold.

Then you meet and, there it is, the big let down. WOW, talk about fake news! Dating profiles is where you’ll find it.

For me all the pre-meeting communication creates an expectation that ultimately, most often, leads to disappointment. I’m sure my dates felt the same way.

My good friend and online dating guru Ken, always told me to “keep the initial communications to a minimum, once you’ve connected online, just get out there and meet.” He’s right. The longer you delay having a face-to-face, the more time you have to build up false expectations. Then, you meet and wham, you and your expectations crash leaving you wondering if you saved the tags so you can return the top you bought for your date.

Most, more than 75%, of the men I met were not exactly what or who they said they were. Let me explain.

I met a 67 year old man posing as a 52 year old active male. We met for a lunch date. I got up to use the restroom, while I was gone, he fell asleep at the table. Gawd I must be a bore. I paid the bill, quietly woke him and put him in a cab.

One gentleman I went on a walking date with, was just looking for someone to go half-ies on a double-wide.

Another just wanted a date he could introduce as his fiancé at his mothers 80s birthday the following weekend.

There was the guy that for our first (and only) date, toured me through three job sites he was working on. Perhaps he wanted to demonstrate that he was good with tools🤷‍♀️.

A couple of men uttered those three little words on the first date – “I’m still married”. To be clear there were no second dates with these fellas.

One guy had obviously set up a “call system” with a friend. As soon as he knew I was not going home with him, he received the “you’ve got an emergency” call – we were both relieved to bring that date to an end.

A few were just really angry at their ex’s and apparently needed to talk about it.

Many despite what their profiles said, were not really looking for a relationship, but rather seeking short-term hook-ups.

A couple fellas had done impressive creeping research on me. Especially the one that told me he had figured out where I lived and liked what I had done with the garden and patio in my front yard. I have since moved.

Then there was the guy that punched the wall because I had a different political viewpoint than he did. TAXI !

One just drank a whole lot, maybe he hoped I’d look better after 9 double scotch. When he tried to kiss me goodnight, I turned away and he poked me in the eye with his keys( thus the title of this little editorial)

And then, there was a man that I thought was, well, an excellent match, I felt a spark with him immediately. I thought we were likeminded, he had not lied about anything(that I knew about), he was attractive, I loved his presence, there were lots of positives from my perspective, but, it wasn’t meant to be😔.

I connected with several really nice, attractive, decent people, but when we met face-to-face, the chemistry just wasn’t there. And, that’s where online dating falls down (for me). Without the body language and other important social cues I could not get a true sense of who most of these people were through pictures, texts or even phone calls. I need to look into somebody’s eyes, into their soul, touch their hand and most importantly I need feel something when I first meet somebody.

A few confessed that they had not written their own profile. They had their mother, sister or a friend help them write it AND, they had them help craft responses to our online communications. I fall in love with words. So for me, using a “Cyrano de Bergerac” approach, is disappointing.

I’m not even going to describe the scams and ultra-fake profiles, that’s an editorial unto itself.

I’ve coming to believe that all these online dating services might not really want us to find love, if we did they’d be out of business. They rely on our desire to find “the one” to keep us signed up. Many of these companies are subsidiaries of other dating sites and hook you with the idea that their site is unique or will offer you only “Elite” (yes I joined that one too) match prospects. But, once I got on a new site, I was met by mostly all the same people, that like me, jumped from site to site.

To be fair, I know people that have met the love of their life online. These success stories become the inspiration for the rest of us to jump into the online dating world.

I also have male friends that had similar experiences with less than honest dates. So, it’s just not men that put up outdated photos and colour their profiles into something they’re not. The ladies do it too.

I am grateful that I grew up in a time when we had the opportunity to experience dating the old fashioned way. A time when my heart raced, my hands sweat and butterflies went rogue in my stomach when I saw my crush for the first time. These elements of human connection are absent when we first make contact online. While the online environment exposes us to thousands of potential matches, it’s just not the same, well, not for me.

I’m not giving up on love. But, I think if it happens for me, it will have to be the old fashion way.

Or, perhaps I’ll realize that I’ve already met my person, maybe the timing was off and we’ll find our way back into each others lives.

Or, I’ll get another dog, maybe add a cat to the mix, actually baby goats are popular pets right now.

Regardless, I will not die with my love still in me. I plan to leave it all out on the field. Right now, I’m just gonna love all the beautiful, amazing, people already in my life.

For those still in the online dating game. Good luck, I hope you find the one that will ignite both your heart and soul and fill your life with love, laughter and beautiful memories.

TO’K ~ 🌹❤️

Canadian Snow Wussies

SNOW WUSSIES
Come on Canada we’re tougher than this.
We were built for snow.
We learnt how to spell our names in the snow! Yes even the girls!
Our snow-pants are our under-pants!
You were likely conceived in the snow!
We learnt to ride toboggans before we rode bikes.
Some of us got to school sitting on the front of a snow plough.
You live in the great white north for god sake what do you expect?
Pissed off because you can’t get to the gym? Get out and shovel a path to Timmys, pick up your double-double and a dozen Timbits, you’ll work those calories off before you get home.
You know why Canadians don’t go to war? Because we have snowball fights to work that shit out.
We don’t call our Air Force Demonstration Squadron “The Snowbirds”for nothing!
You wanna’ bitch about “snowflakes”? bitch about the political snowflakes down south.
Yes theres more snow coming, there will always be more snow coming, YOU LIVE IN CANADA
Relax, put on your favorite plaid PJs, go pull a cold one out of the snow pile in your back yard, turn on a hockey game, finish off your Timbits (ever try them wrapped in bacon,Yum) and settling in.
You are Canadian – you were built for this 🙂
TOK~ Continue reading “Canadian Snow Wussies”