Rainy Monday morning ramble☔️

Rainy Monday mornings, the perfect opportunity for rambling reflections☔️.

Outside, dull gray clouds drop rain from the sky, creating small pools of water on my patio. I’m snuggled inside, coffee in one hand, pen in the other and a fire warming my toes. My puppy Bo’ is also snuggled up, enjoying the calm a morning like this brings.

An array of birds are taking shelter in the hedge outside my window, popping out every so often to pluck a worm from the ground and take it back to the nest.

The wind and the chill provide the perfect opportunity to sink into a cozy ponder of thought. My first thought being; I am so blessed and grateful for this life.

The day also provides the opportunity to ask; “What did I learn or observed last week that will help me this week?” Hmm so many thoughts come to mind.

I observed a war that makes no sense. Young men, woman, fathers and mothers, fighting and dying for the deranged ego of a narcissistic leader. What if they all just put down their weapons and walked away, walked back to their homes and families? War is pointless. No one person should ever hold so much power over so many. War teaches us how fragile our lives, our way of life and our planet is. So this week I will live with a more grateful and compassionate heart.

Last week, I observed thousands, maybe millions of people around the world unite to support those in need and those who are hurting. These acts of humanity have reminded me that the human spirit has a huge capacity to care, to help and to love. We’re so much better when we work together. So, I will join others, when I can, to make our world a better place.

I observed the selfish and reckless behaviour of a few, bent on getting their way irregardless of the impact their actions had on others, cause disruption and chaos. Witnessing this type of behaviour reminds me that our actions, even when merely observed, can have a far reaching impact. Someone is always watching, observing and learning, including our children. Our actions can create positive ripples or waves of destruction, the choice is ours.

I observed how little it takes to make myself happy. A few stones collected from the seashore, a paint brush and my imagination, can clear my mind and keep me busy for hours. We don’t always need to have great expectations of ourselves. The best things are often simply things and simple moments, and the calm and contentment these moments bring.

As you start out this new week, I hope you reflect on what learning you will take with you, what type of ripple you create and what behaviours or expectations you will leave behind. Whatever you decide, I hope it brings you (and perhaps others) calm, contentment and peace ☮️.
Love Toni ~ 🌹❤️

Is it time for a social media break up?

By Toni O’KEEFFE

Is social media ruining our personal and romantic relationships?

Are we forgetting how to communicate?

Are adults spending too much time scrolling through pics of their ex, the cute girl or guy from the office or their latest obsession, when they should be spending time building and growing the important relationships in their lives?

Apparently, we are.

One third of all divorce cases since 2016 in the UK, cite “social media” in the proceedings as a cause for disharmony in the relationship. Another survey suggests one third of all relationship break ups “worldwide” are the results of social media behaviour and engagement. 😮

But let’s be clear, it’s not necessarily the fault of social media, it’s the temptation it breeds to be stealth, sneaky, and disengage from real relationships and engage in unfettered behaviour that’s causing the problem.

The ease in which people can scroll and get away with flirting, sexting, viewing, stalking and micro-cheating make it easy to engage online.

This environment also makes it easy for disinformation and conspiracy theory’s to be spread and wreak havoc on our family’s, and our personal and romantic relationships.
I’ll write more about that on another day.

Good communication is essential to good relationships. Our obsession with social media has destroyed communications between partners, parents and their children and caused breakups between friends.

A 2015 poll of adults found that 89 per cent admitted they took out a phone to view social media during their last social gathering. 82 per cent say the conversation they we’re having, deteriorated after they did.
71 percent also admitted to using social media in ways they knew their partner wouldn’t like, e.g stalking an ex, flirting, staying connected to a crush or viewing pics of a cutie from work.

A number of studies also point to a decline in our mental health from over exposer to social media.

Social networking sites are rampant with opportunities for self-promotion and ego-boosting. The number of narcissists feeding on likes, new followers, complementary comments and love emoji‘s from those willing to offer them up to feed their own desires and fantasies, is staggering.

Both the narcissist and those following them (and enabling them) are contributing partially to the downfall of real life communications and relationships.

A study led by mental health research Julia Brailovskaia, showed that narcissism is associated with high levels of Facebook and Instagram use. Her study also shows, the need for popularity and ego boosting can be dangerously addictive.

Of course social media is not all bad. It allows us to stay connected, reconnect and reach out. However, when it takes us away from our primary relationships, makes us mentally unwell, impacts our real world communications, erodes trust in our romantic relationships or is being used to spread misleading information or cause harm, then maybe it’s time for a break.

There is so much information on this topic, so, I’ve posted a few links below which relate to the studies and information I’ve referenced above for those who are interested in this topic.

So, on this happy day-after-Valentine’s-post, I think it’s time for me to take a break, turn off my social media platforms for a bit, and spend some time in the real world.

Wishing you a happy, healthy, real world, rest of the week.

Stay Real!

Don’t ever apologize for, or be ashamed of, the bits and pieces of you others call kooky or weird.

Honest to fricken Murphy, those kooky, weird bits are the best, most beautiful, unique pieces of you and your happy, colourful soul.

Dance your dance, sing your tunes, blaze trails, light up the sky and bedazzle your world anyway you want.

As long as you’re not hurting anyone,
spread your magic baby!

You my dear deserve to live like the
absolute masterpiece you are.

Toni O’K ~🌹❤️

If I could sit under a tree with my younger self I’d tell her;

You and every soul who shares this journey with you, is beautiful, unique and amazing. You’re all supposed to be different. So be yourself, love yourself, express yourself and let others do the same. It’s okay to wear two different coloured socks (and I know you want to.)

You’ve got a-lot of ground to cover, don’t waste time staying stuck, overthinking your next move, going back to old boyfriends or reliving the past. Move forward.

You’ll learn more when you listen and observe, rather than being busy making noise. My dear, you don’t know it all.

You’re going hurt some people, not on purpose, still, always apologies.
Some people will hurt you, not always on purpose, still, always forgive them.

There’s a million right ways to do something. It doesn’t have to be your way.

Your happiness is your job, nobody else’s. (However coffee, chocolate and puppies will help)

No matter what, be kind. Your kind heart and positive attitude are the most beautiful things you’ll ever wear.

When you feel stuck, go to the forest, walk around a lake, look up at the stars or sit quietly next to the ocean and, the answers will come.

You’re going to make some big mistakes. Yup, some really big ones. Be grateful, for ALL of them, even the most painful, ugly, messed up ones. Then forgive yourself, take the lessons and move on.

There’s a little bit of whimsey in you, don’t be afraid or forget, to let her out to play.

Enjoy this adventure, it won’t last long. Be curious, explore, have lots of fun and help others do the same.

When this journey is over, make sure you’ve left all your love, your words, your music, your magic, your wisdom and your gratitude out on the field for others to grow on.🌹❤️

Let’s not wait till we die, to love, appreciate and honour each other.

As I get older, the frequency in which I receive news that a friend, acquaintance, colleague, neighbour or family member has passed away, increases.

When we, or someone we know, loses a loved one, the realization that our time here is temporary comes sharply into focus.

Each loss moves us to scour the cracks that separate our days, making sure we didn’t miss an opportunity to say;
“I love you”,
“I miss you”,
“I’m sorry.”
“Can I help.”

We look back on that last conversation and our last moments together and replay what we wish we had said or done.

Then, we “what if” ourselves, asking questions like;
“What if I had been there?”
“What if I hadn’t been so angry during our last conversation?”
“What if I had reached out?”
“What if we had spent more time together?” …….would things have turned out differently?

We waste so much time and energy, being “busy”, angry, negative, stubborn, dismissive, judgmental, stuck or offended.

“What If” we set our egos aside and let kindness, compassion, gratitude and love be our guides? Then perhaps when it’s time to say goodbye, we will not lament, but celebrate and give thanks for the pleasure of sharing time with the ones we loved and lost.

It’s the impermanence of life that should make every waking breath a cherished event. We should savour every beautiful, simple, pleasure and every ordinary moment shared with those we love.
Every child’s laugh and every story retold by our elders for the umpteenth time, should fill us with warmth and delight.

Let’s spend more time holding the ones we love as we marvel at the explosion of colour created as the sun rises and sets. Let our hearts be moved by the power in every stormy sky or the magic in each twinkling star and rainbow above.

Lets hold each other in reverence every day for being the amazing, unique, miracles we all are.

Let’s not wait until we die, to love, appreciate and honour each other.
Let’s do it while we’re still here.

Everything starts out as a dream

Everything ever created, started as a small dream born in the corner of someone’s mind.
Every successful business, invention, plan, piece of art, musical composition, endeavour, or thing, at one time, was just a thought someone had.

The magic happened when the dreaming turned into doing.

That thing percolating in the back of your mind, you can make it happen. Stop thinking about it and start doing it.

Wishing you a wonderful week ahead.

Toni O’K~🌹❤️

Don’t be afraid to get lost

Don’t be afraid
to get lost,

We’re not meant
to stay in
one place.

We’re meant
to roam, to go
on big adventures,

to discover
amazing things
about ourselves
and our world,

to meet people
with different
perspectives
and ideas,

to trip, fall and
get back up,

to make a few
wrong turns
and get lost,

all so we can find
our way home again.

So, Go – Get – Lost.

TO’K~🌹❤️

“Live every day like it’s your 100th birthday .”~ By Toni O’Keeffe

He asked her;
“What’s the secret to your longevity?”
She stared at him for along time over the thick rim
of her glasses.
Then, she picked up her double scotch,
shot it back, slowly rose from her chair,
shuffled over to her birthday cake, lit
a smoke off a candle and blew it into his face.

“Live every day like it’s your 100th birthday.”
she said.
Put on your crown,
know your worth and know you matter.
I’m a god damn work of art.
We all are. Yes, even you.
We should start treating each other
that way.”

TO’K🌹❤️

Organic Therapy ~

When you seek respite
from a noisy mind,
or a noisy world,
go to the forest.

She will welcome you in
and never ask you to leave.

She will embrace you and
offer you sanctuary.

She will listen, comfort you
and calm your tired soul.

She will not judge
or ask you why you came.

She will allow you to sit quietly
and just breathe.

And sometimes,
that’s all we need.

TO’K~🌹❤️