Individual freedom would imply you are not tied or tethered to anyone or anything. You are free to go, do, say or be whatever you want.
But, that’s not exactly the reality of the world we coexist in. We are individual human threads, interwoven across the colourful patchwork we call humanity.
None of us are completely free, nor will we ever be (well, until, you know😇). We are connected, whether we like it or not.
When the fabric at one end of the patchwork is torn, it affects us all and there is potential for ALL OF US to unravel.
It’s to our collective benefit ~ whether there’s a war, a pandemic or natural disaster~ to rally and support the piece of the patchwork that’s damaged or suffering. There’s a shared responsibility for “the whole”, to which we all benefit and to which we all have a responsibility. Bee’s get it🐝.
We spend a lot of time espousing our individual freedoms and rights, but not a lot of time teaching children (or ourselves) about our individual responsibilities and interdependence.
Despite what the song says, we are “NOT” Born Free. We are born into a hive that is completely interdependent and reliant on social cooperation. What happens to one of us, affects all of us.
“Bee” kind to each other and this beautiful, sort-of-happy, hive that is our shared home.
Is social media ruining our personal and romantic relationships?
Are we forgetting how to communicate?
Are adults spending too much time scrolling through pics of their ex, the cute girl or guy from the office or their latest obsession, when they should be spending time building and growing the important relationships in their lives?
Apparently, we are.
One third of all divorce cases since 2016 in the UK, cite “social media” in the proceedings as a cause for disharmony in the relationship. Another survey suggests one third of all relationship break ups “worldwide” are the results of social media behaviour and engagement. 😮
But let’s be clear, it’s not necessarily the fault of social media, it’s the temptation it breeds to be stealth, sneaky, and disengage from real relationships and engage in unfettered behaviour that’s causing the problem.
The ease in which people can scroll and get away with flirting, sexting, viewing, stalking and micro-cheating make it easy to engage online.
This environment also makes it easy for disinformation and conspiracy theory’s to be spread and wreak havoc on our family’s, and our personal and romantic relationships. I’ll write more about that on another day.
Good communication is essential to good relationships. Our obsession with social media has destroyed communications between partners, parents and their children and caused breakups between friends.
A 2015 poll of adults found that 89 per cent admitted they took out a phone to view social media during their last social gathering. 82 per cent say the conversation they we’re having, deteriorated after they did. 71 percent also admitted to using social media in ways they knew their partner wouldn’t like, e.g stalking an ex, flirting, staying connected to a crush or viewing pics of a cutie from work.
A number of studies also point to a decline in our mental health from over exposer to social media.
Social networking sites are rampant with opportunities for self-promotion and ego-boosting. The number of narcissists feeding on likes, new followers, complementary comments and love emoji‘s from those willing to offer them up to feed their own desires and fantasies, is staggering.
Both the narcissist and those following them (and enabling them) are contributing partially to the downfall of real life communications and relationships.
A study led by mental health research Julia Brailovskaia, showed that narcissism is associated with high levels of Facebook and Instagram use. Her study also shows, the need for popularity and ego boosting can be dangerously addictive.
Of course social media is not all bad. It allows us to stay connected, reconnect and reach out. However, when it takes us away from our primary relationships, makes us mentally unwell, impacts our real world communications, erodes trust in our romantic relationships or is being used to spread misleading information or cause harm, then maybe it’s time for a break.
There is so much information on this topic, so, I’ve posted a few links below which relate to the studies and information I’ve referenced above for those who are interested in this topic.
So, on this happy day-after-Valentine’s-post, I think it’s time for me to take a break, turn off my social media platforms for a bit, and spend some time in the real world.
Wishing you a happy, healthy, real world, rest of the week.
Waiting in line, waiting for the right time, the right person, the right place.
Waiting for winter, for spring, for summer and then waiting for fall.
Waiting for days to be warmer, then to be colder.
Waiting for the sun to rise, for the sun to set.
Waiting until we loose weight.
Waiting for our children to arrive, to walk, to talk, to go to school, to leave and then, waiting and hoping they’ll come back home.
Waiting to find a job, waiting to find a better job, then counting the days to retirement.
Waiting until we have money, waiting until we have more money.
Waiting to do the things we’ve always wanted to do.
Waiting for somethings to begin and others to end.
Waiting to find “the one” then, to find the next “one”. Waiting for the heartache and pain to go away.
Waiting to find ourselves and understand our purpose.
We barely remember the things we’ve been waiting for because the moment they arrive we start waiting for the next thing to show up.
As children we could hardly wait to grow up. Then as we get older things change. We want to slow it all down. We want to hold on to the few precious moments we get with those we love.
We become aware of how fast it’s all gone by. We try so hard to slow it down, to be present, but it keeps moving, even faster now.
Stop waiting and just BE. Appreciate where you’re at; even if it’s painful. Be grateful for this moment, this time, this lesson, the joy, the sorrow, whatever it is, BE with it. Be in awe of it and the learning that comes with it.
The day will arrive when you miss where you’re at today. You will look back on the most difficult times of your life and realize these were the most important and transformational moments of your life. They set the stage for the good things that followed.
You will also look back on all those special small moments and wished you had lingered in them longer. So linger in them now.
Spending time with a four year old or, a 94 year old, reminds us how wonderful it is to play, to laugh, to dream, to love, to observe butterflies and to spend time getting messy eating watermelon, planting flowers or making a campfire.
These wise older and younger souls will gladly take your hand and guide you to the forest or the seashore, as they know these places are extraordinary and make the best classrooms.
Time spent with little people and our elders affirm the fact that naps are necessary, the sun, the stars and the moon are absolutely magical and our beautiful planet deserves to be loved.
They’ll encourage you to be who you are, wear what you want (the more colour the better)and remind you to let others do the same.
Their animated and colourful stories will take you to places you forgot you were missing and remind you that the world is still a dazzling and fascinating place.
You’ll giggle as they whisper secrets in your ear and tell you it’s okay to talk to your cat, dog, bird or other animal because these creatures are wonderful friends and they always listen.
The young and the old teach us kindness, patients, compassion and the importance and beauty in being still when we stop to inhale the essence of a buttercup, tulip or a rose.
Never underestimate their wisdom and the powerful impact they can have on your well-being. Their lingering hugs and the enthusiastic excitement shown when they greet you, is a reminder that you’re awesome and you’re loved.
Human beings are at our best in the beginning of our journey and at the end. It’s during these periods we know what matters and we happily give love away.
The periods of life in between can be confusing. Our minds become overwhelmed and overstimulated by things not really important at all.
We seem to park the wisdom of our early years, somewhere along our path. If we’re lucky we find it again before this amazing adventure ends.
If you’re feeling lost, spending time with little people or your elders can be grounding and humbling. We were them, and we’ll be them again.
The Whimsey Angel 