Your words have power

~ Toni O’KEEFFE

Today as I sat on the beach with my little dog Bo’, a young girl, about 4 years old, ran up to us happily excited to see Bo’ digging in the sand.

She gushed at how cute he was, stroked his fur ever so gently, softly tapped his head and utter the words; “good boy” and giggled as he licked her hands and face.

Her mother ran up to where we were and apologized for her daughter’s intrusion and excitement and told her to leave us alone.

“It’s quite alright,”I said. “His name is Bo and he loves the attention.”

Then, quite spontaneously, the little girl looked up at me and said “I love you, and I love Bo.”
It was very sweet.
“We love you too,” I replied.
“Thank you for making Bo so happy today.”
The little girl smiled.

Her mother appeared very uncomfortable, quickly grabbed her child’s hand and pulled her away. She turned to her daughter and in a harsh tone said; “You don’t tell strangers you love them. That’s silly, stop bothering this lady.” She went on publicly scolding the child and told her; “You don’t even know this person, You save those words for people you know.”

A quiet reserve fell over this sweet child’s face, erasing her glow and her smile.
Her slumped shoulders and nervous hair twirling, were signs she was confused about what she had done wrong.

I wanted to pick her up, hug her, tell her she had done nothing wrong and, in fact, she had made me and Bo quite happy.
But, I couldn’t, it wouldn’t have been “appropriate” and, her mother had quickly whisked her away.

Let me be clear, I understand the importance of educating our children about stranger-danger. Some people might not want their child running up to strangers saying “I love you”. This situation was different. And, it was a lost learning moment for the mother and the child.

There is nothing more beautiful than the innocence and vulnerability of a child speaking their truth.

Most young children do not possess social restraint, so their raw honesty can be insightful and even comical when they say things we might find inappropriate, such as;
“your breath is stinky like a dog butt”
“I think I barfed in my underpants”
“farts are my favourite thing about granpa”
“mom you look dizzy in that dress”
“we don’t eat meat ‘cause our moms trying to be a virgin”
……or other words and phrases describing the plethora of thought swirling inside a tiny human mind(and yes these are actual raw honest phrases spoken by my two little boys, in public, decades ago).

So when a child is moved to say the words “I love you” its a beautiful act from a little soul under construction.

Saying “I love you” in a platonic way, shouldn’t feel scary (my god I just wrote about this a few weeks ago).
When children say it, it should feel wonderful and they shouldn’t be shamed or scorned.

In a world filled with anger, hate and distrust, we need little people to feel comfortable expressing LOVE.

So what’s the moral of this story?
Our words have power.
The words spoken by this sweet child, lifted me up. Her words were beautiful, authentic and spoken from the innocence of her tender heart.

The words spoken by her mother, were filled with anger, disappointment, perhaps fear, and quickly had the power to bring a very happy, excited child down, and put me off balance for the rest of the day.

Our words can create ripples that echo on long after we’ve left them behind ( this post is an example of just that).
So lets create ripples of kindness that flow gently into (and beyond) each other’s lives, rather than cause and waves of fear, hurt and destruction.

Love Toni~🌹❤️

****Fun fact, I was not successful in my attempts to eliminate meat from my diet. I did not become a “vegetarian”. (You might have to go back and re-read paragraph 11 to fully understand 😁)

Your words have weight. Exercise them carefully.~

I dislike and rarely use, the term “The truth hurts.” because, it doesn’t always have to.

Even when we convey disappointing or unpleasant information, we can still use words to reassure, comfort, support, show empathy, motivate, inspire, educate or encourage optimism.

In a world where it’s easy to use multiple mediums to fire off messages filled with emotional backlash and sometimes dire consequences, we need to choose our words carefully.

It’s not always “the truth” that hurts, it can be the mis-truths, the half truth, the lies, the mean spirited intent behind the words or how a message is delivered, that hurts.

Your words can break a spirit or save it, bring light to someones day or shroud it in darkness, can lift someone up or tear them down, can soften a heart or make it cold, deliver tears of joy or tears of sorrow, can influence opinion and evoke emotion.

Our words are little bullets. On average, most of us fire off approximately 7000 of them every single day. (OK some of us may use a few more than that😊)

When eloquently strung together those 26 little letters (if you speak English) can make up words that move us to create, laugh, cry and touch one another in the most profound ways.

Before you speak or send a message ask yourself; have I been kind? have I been sensitive? is the information true? is the information even necessary?

Then ask yourself “Will my words cause pain or discomfort?” If they will, ask yourself how you can be supportive, inspire or encourage optimism, healing and growth?

It’s equally important to be cautious with your silence. Our words when left unspoken, can be just as powerful. The things we do not say or do not ask or do not explore, can send messages indicating we do not care, we’re not interested or we’ve given up. Words left unspoken sometimes create a void others fill with assumptions. Most often, incorrect assumptions.

Other times your silence is exactly what the situation calls for. It says I’m not going to engage in what might be an emotionally charged setting. So rather than using your words, it might be best to listen compassionately to the words of others.

Your words both spoken and unspoken belong to you. Before you fire them off or keep them locked in your holster, consider the impact and the consequences of each powerful bullet.

No work-out routine, diet program, steroid, or sizeable muscle mass will give you more power than the weight your words.
Exercise them carefully.

Toni O’Keeffe~🌹❤️