He asked her; “What’s the secret to your longevity?” She stared at him for along time over the thick rim of her glasses. Then, she picked up her double scotch, shot it back, slowly rose from her chair, shuffled over to her birthday cake, lit a smoke off a candle and blew it into his face.
“Live every day like it’s your 100th birthday.” she said. Put on your crown, know your worth and know you matter. I’m a god damn work of art. We all are. Yes, even you. We should start treating each other that way.”
We learn more during life’s painful moments and challenges, than we learn in our moments of glory.
Each stabbing ache, each crushing disappointment, each heartbreak, every loss or painful fall from grace, allows us an opportunity to grow and become stronger.
Whether it’s emotional or physical; pain forces us to slow down, rest and take the time we need to heal.
Getting knocked down isn’t always a bad thing. Pain can leave us humbled, wiser and more patient. It allows us to lower our veil, be vulnerable, more tolerant and compassionate towards the pain we see or even cause, in others.
Sometimes pain itself is the cure for the things in life that hurt us; as it slows us down long enough to evaluate what and who is important.
When pain knocks on your door, let it in, sit with it. Let it show you what it wants you to see, to learn or to grow into.
Pain always, ALWAYS, brings with it opportunities for transformation. Opportunities to wrap yourself in your cocoon, and when you’re ready, to emerge with greater clarity about who you are, what’s important, why you’re here and how you want to live, love, play and BE.
Pain can be a beautiful teacher. Don’t waste your pain on “the pain” use this opportunity as a stepping stone to chart the next chapter of your journey.
Your pain will hurt you, it will also help, heal and lead you.
I was listening (okay I was ease dropping) on a conversation the other day.
Two women were chatting about a common “friend”who is constantly changing.
“She can’t stay in one place,” one of them said. “She has changed jobs four or five times since I’ve known her,” the other one commented in that rolling her eyes tone of voice.
I heard phrases like;
“Get her act together,”
“Stick with one relationship,”.
“Her bohemian phase,” and
“She needs to decided if she’s Buddhist, an atheist or something different.”
Hmm, their “friend” sounds a bit like me in my late 30’s.
It appeared they believed those who are constantly changing are somehow broken.
I have a completely different perspective.
I believe we should be constantly changing.
You’re allowed to change your mind or shift your perspective. Especially when it comes to the big stuff. That’s how we grow.
The knowledge, experience and insights we acquire over the course of our lives SHOULD shape and change us.
My God, if I was still living my life based on the insights and experience of my 12 year old self, I’d be a hot mess of jellybeans, acne and mood swings, guided by my crush on Bobby Sherman and a desire to grow boobs.
Like everything on the planet, we’re supposed to change. Those little seeds we come from are supposed to take root, grow, blossom and then we shed our leaves (aka Feng~shui your life) rest, and start all over again and again and maybe again.
You don’t have to stay in a particular mind set, job, relationship or community if it no longer feels right. When we change our mind, shed old thinking and outdated perspectives, it means we’re thinking, pondering and working our brain muscles. It means we’re growing and creating the space for new adventures, new relationships and new opportunities.
I hope you allow yourself to constantly change and grow. And, along the way you let go of the attitudes, beliefs and people that no longer give you life. If you can’t, at least don’t judge the ones that are.